INFIDELITY WHO?
This has to be the number one problem or complaint of people who are married these days. So much so that I can't help but wonder if there are any couples out there who haven't had to deal with it first hand. Is this a reality if I want to get married? Whether he or she did the sneaking around, my question is “Was it worth it?”
Nothing better supports this argument than the most recent, ugly, public, exhibition of Swiss Beat’s marriage debacle and new planned pregnancy with Alicia Keys. Egypt (her new baby boy) has an excellent model of the way a man should love his wife. I must say that I have lost so much respect for the image Alicia Keys has portrayed. She is what many experienced women call a bona fide home wrecker.
IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES
Honestly, this is just a more pleasant way of saying they fight all the time. They are constantly mad at each other and their not even sure why. They don’t get along and really they are not trying to and the worst part is that everyone knows it. These irreconcilable differences are based on a variety of things, a perfect example being friends from the past…women/men who pop up and don’t respect that this person is now married and the married person doesn’t have the guts to put that person in their place. Why do married folk sacrifice their relationship for a person from the past is beyond me but there are some who do it every day. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have friends of the opposite sex when you are married but I am saying that if your spouse has a problem with it, shouldn’t it be your business to come to some sort of compromise?
THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION/S
Are there people out there who still want to get married, and if so why? Is your idea of marriage based on what you saw between your parents or is it just something you feel that you want in your life? Don’t get me wrong, I do know some people that are ‘happily married’. However, I know far more who are not. A friend of mine said that people get married for all the wrong reasons. If this is so, I sure would like to know what those reasons are so that I can check my thinking!
I do want to get married one day. I do believe that there are people who are ‘happily married’. My question is why does it seem that the 'happily married' are fewer and fewer day by day? Why am I constantly hearing from women in conversation that men are afraid of marriage? If men can be baby daddies, why can’t they be fathers and husbands too?
I JUST DON’T KNOW
I can’t act like I have all the answers to why marriages seem so glum, all I can do is expose my experiences. I want someone to make sense of all this, didn’t someone, anyone, get married for the right reasons?
While I can't claim any first-hand experience of marriage like yourself, I am unabashedly outspoken about my trenchant insight on the state of "the Union"... "the institution"..."the big plunge". Being an avid sports fan, you quickly learn that those who know and offer the best commentary on the game are people like Stuart Scott and Marv Albert, who have only been spectators and never checked into a single game. With that being said, Stevie Wonder can see how much of a raw deal marriage has become! Statistics clearly show that the leading cause of divorce in the US is marriage! Just don't do it unless the person you're considering is exactly the person you desire as a husband, because what you see is what you get! A few vows at the altar, even with Jesus witnessing, doesn't make people morphine into your ideal spouse. In summation, just stay single....because a great boyfriend beats a mediocre husband any day.
ReplyDelete*morph* not morphine...this Evo and its autocorrect!
ReplyDeleteWe don't live in a society that promotes family or marriage. When sex is the defining point of a relationship, it will fail. Look around you. What is being advertised? Marriage and family, or sex? A good marriage is built on a relationship and that takes work. If one partner doesn't want to work at it, the marriage will fall apart. I love being married, but then so does my husband. We love each other, we are best friends, we need each other. It's not a romantic movie, nor a war zone... It's a relationship. When thinking about what you want in a spouse, make sure you have those same qualities. Also, make sure you share the same belief system. If I can say anything about the success of my marriage, it is because my husband and I share the same beliefs. It bonds us together.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if those who have been married before will have the guts to respond too!
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to think of a scripture that I could attach to this post and I decided to reference Mark 10:9.
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
Respect people's marriages, I wouldn't want God to say that I went against something he put together.
I wish I could get the anonymous person to answer whether or not they think most marriages are based on sex. Is this what you were getting at?
ReplyDeleteI hope that when most people use the phrase "marraige is work" they are not meaning that it is similiar to their 9 to 5, which is not something a lot of people want to do, but have to do. Marraige is work, but a good kind of work. It is something we choose to do daily, almost like a hobbie. It is fun and most people would rather do their hobbie opposed to anything else. It's like an investment account- maybe a money market account. You are always giving into your marraige account, knowing that you can withdraw on this fund without penalty at anytime. The fund never gets depleted and the return is great because you both are constantly investing. Honest and open communication keeps things interesting and both parties have to be open to whatever the other person has to share- rather it is something you want to hear or not. There must also be an agreement to resolve situations together and never ever let things get too far along until you can't discuss it. Communication has always worked best in our relationship so you have to find time to talk about any and everything. Sex is important because it helps to keep the two of you bonded together. Sex is so important that a true marraige is not even considered a marraige until it has been consummated. In a marraige it is the most glorious event that can take place. :) I like being married because my husband is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything. I am free to be myself without negative judgement, but constructive, honest opinion/critism. We laugh together, we cry in each other's arms, we share each other's secrets, he is the muse in my poetry, I am the topic of his discussions, I am his treasure and gift and he is mine, but most of all we love each other.
ReplyDeleteI agree with my wife on the phrase marriage is work! You both have to want it. There are three points that has made the difference in our marriage.
ReplyDelete1. "The God factor"- even though we didn't have an instruction manual for marriage, we had God!We both wanted a successful marriage, so we had to go back to the source. By going to the source, we love God and God taught us how to love one another.
2. Communication- we understood how to talk to each other versus yelling and shouting. We learned to exercise proper communication.
3. Giving and receiving- we are always willing to invite each other to share in our personal interests. For an example, my wife loves to watch cooking shows and to spend time with her, sometimes we watch them together. I like to watch football, so there are times that she accompany me as well. She took the time to explain things that I did not understand about cooking and I took the time to explain the games to her. These are just three areas that has had an impact in our marraige.
As you can see, all of these things take work, but the results are priceless.